Well, I hadn’t planned on starting my weekend with my heart cut into ribbons and stamped all over the floor, but HERE WE ARE so I’m going to make it your problem too.

Jamie is a 19 year old boy, living at home in the east end of Glasgow with his mum, Fiona. He hated school and has struggled to find his place in life since he left, and now spends his days gaming, eating and sleeping. Fiona knows she’s missed the mark somewhere along the parenting line, and while she’s doing her best to fix it, and encourage Jamie to get out into the world, he has no current intention of doing so.

A book cover with the title Hermit in yellow text. The author is Chris McQueer, and the cover depicts a teenaged boy seen from behind. He's sat at a computer in a darkened room. — Hermit, by Chris McQueer. Wildfire, 2025

The audiobook is narrated by Chris himself as Jamie, and by the excellent Scarlett Mack as Fiona. The contrasting voices and see-saw of narrative really played out the gulf in understanding between the two characters. While Jamie and Fiona mostly rub along alright together, Jamie’s been talking to his online pal who’s found a forum for guys like them - men who don’t match the picture of how masculinity is ‘supposed’ to look. Gradually Jamie begins to understand that his mum is the root of most of his problems, and that the women who would never look twice at him are the cause of the rest.

As a woman who exists and can read, I know about incels in theory, of course, and have read journalism and think-pieces exploring the phenomenon. I have worried about Andrew Tate and the crisis of masculinity, and I’ve read the books about how to raise kids who have an understanding of respect, equality and accountability.

Deep down I’ve always wondered, though, how young men find themselves in this space, where men and women are boxed into bewildering categories (chads, alphas, betas, cucks, omegas, stacys…) and young men believe they are being denied their right to romantic and sexual partnerships because of women wielding their power to … not sleep with someone who thinks they have a right to their body, I guess.

Hermit answered that question, at least in part. It showed me just how horrifyingly uncomplicated it can be for some people to quietly slide through the cracks and be caught in a ‘safety’ net made of hatred and anger. Jamie isn’t a bam, he’s not a wee gangster or been in with the wrong crowd for years. He just doesn’t know how to fit in to society as it presents itself, and when he retreats, there are other online spaces that give him recognition and community.

The book tackles all sorts of issues alongside the core story; mental ill-health, domestic abuse, and violence are just some of them. There are really challenging scenes in it - I’m not easily shocked, but this did it; let me know if you want to check any particular content notes if you plan to read the book - but I think the theme that’s sticking with me is the need for resilience in the world we live in today, and how nebulous a concept that is to be able to build in ourselves and others. Fiona repeatedly tries to replay to Jamie the tough love that her mother has shown her, but fails again and again when coming up against obstacles.

I found this book so difficult to read, which I think was McQueer’s point. We shouldn’t be able to ignore this story, or the thousands of real-life versions that it’s based on. The negging, love-bombing and gaslighting are stomach-churning, even when you know it’s fictional, because these are techniques that people are using to manipulate and abuse others every single day.

I try not to pull the “as a parent” card often (because I don’t believe that being a mum gives me some magical insight into human nature) but wow this was bloody terrifying. It’s a stark reminder of the messages kids are exposed to on the reg. Honestly, the book really played on some of my darkest fears as a parent. If you are in contact in any way with groups of teens or young men, I can’t recommend Lads by Alan Bissett highly enough. It takes young men on a journey through easily achievable ways to show respect and seek consent; never patronises or induces cringe, and has enough humour to keep them reading. Encourage the local high school to buy copies for the library and support base. Donate copies to the town’s youth groups. Talk to your kids about the kinds of things they’re reading and hearing online.

Chris McQueer has written something really important here. Hermit humanises the oft-caricatured incel, and fills in the gaps between tech-first kids and full-blown social breakdown: anyone who’s been paying attention to the Musk arc can see what happens when someone with limited social skills has the opportunity to gather online klout in extremis. This is not to say we should normalise or permit incel behaviour - but we do need to understand as humans how it can happen, and where those points of divergence may occur. Campaigns to ban tech and delay smartphone access to kids is all very well, but at some point young people will come in contact with others spouting these ideologies and they need to (a) be able to recognise it and (b) be able to resist. Let’s understand the possibilities, and give our kids the tools and resilience to counteract.

Thank you to Wildfire for this review copy of Hermit, provided via NetGalley.